Im literally going to kill myself

Yall know when your going through alot and you just hold everything in and then the smallest most microspcopic set-back or failure just makes you lose your shit? Everyone around me is having it rough I get it but when they need to vent im here for them i listen to them and i give them solutions, but when I am literally about to lose my sanity I cant call or text anyone because I know that if i call them and talk to them their just going to judge me, because they dont give af. My mom o my fucking god where do i even start its like no matter what i do its always bad and a dissapointment. Its almost like if i dont have good grades im a failure and nuisnace in her eyes. Is that all I am a good grade for you to show off to your friends ? Ever since i was young my mom would always tell me that she got pregnant with me at 16 and she was still an honors student even though she missed half the school year and she still graduated and to top it off she got countless scholarships but she declined them because she wanted to take care of me. And its like a slap in the fucking face like i didnt ask you to give up your life for me fuck i didnt even asked to be born and why am i constantly compared to you? Me and you are not the same what you can do i cant. Im 16 and i dont have a social life i go to school i come right back home for most parents im the dream child alr i dont get in trouble. Sure my grades are c's and d's but is that so bad? I dont really have time to tell yall my whole fucking life story but there is so much stuff that happens and its like i literally want to kill myself but then dont because i want to live i want to be happy and just free of my mom and literally everyone i know. I want to start over as someone else because i really hate myself. Anyone who literally relates your a bitch just like me but i hope you find ur happiness because im so tired i dont even know if i want to find mines.

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Eden Parents May 05, 2022 at 7:26 pm 0 0