Life is Grey

I literally have no one to talk to about how I am struggling. I hate being on my own all the time. I live in a city that I have never called home for about 3 years now and each year just gets shittier.

I have 0 friends, and I have no boyfriend. The last guy I was interested in ran away as I was such as mess. And it sucks because he was a friend of mine for many years, and apparently was overwhelmed. Whatever the fuck that means. At least be honest about the reason, you jerk. Literally has not messaged once in weeks so I guess he didn't want to be mates either. What a prick. Eurgh, I was way too needy though. That is kind of what happens when you have no one. I am so embarrassed by how desperate and broken I must have come across. Wish I had just left him as a mate. We actually might have made a good couple if I was in a decent headspace and I still feel like I fucked up big time. But fuck sake, at least check in and say hello, I am shocked. Feel like I've been friend dumped and that sucks. But I guess he can't have been much of a mate in the first place from the looks of it.

I basically exist on my own. A life on my own is not really worth it to me, but I am trying to convince myself that I should value my life and live it for me, not others. I am going to try and set something up this year after and possibly move abroad. There isn't anyone here for me, and I am alone anyway. Why not live it up in the sun instead then? People do not give a hoot about others in general. Maybe a new start is what I need.

I also just ruined my face again using some dumb chemical peel. Hope the red blotches go down. Damn my skin.

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anonymous Relationships March 30, 2021 at 10:45 am 1 0