general life ranting

I feel tired of this life and fed up
It is really annoying of having some bad emotions and you don't trust anyone to vent to him.

I decided to vent in this website to get rid of some heavy weight.

these problems are related to each other somehow:

- I still have feelings for my Ex. the relationship ends 3 years ago. although I tried everything: moving to another city, working, sport, gaming, watching movies, crying for long time ... Nothing helped me to get rid of the awful feelings that I am still feeling until the moment of writing these words.
These feelings made my chest (specially my heart) seems to be crushed by a hydraulic pressure machine again and again and again. also my right side of my head is killing so much with the pain like a driller and a shredder at the same time.
The problem is that I cannot and won't go back to her as she is not the person that I want to have in my life. but, I still feeling attached to her as a stupid person. none of my family can understand me or even tried to do so. they think that it was a period and passed. They don't know that I am struggling every single moment inside of my head and my heart. how I am supposed to handle these emotions along the rest of my life?!

- I am looking for a job since 2.5 months. I didn't get until now a single interview invitation. The job search process is so long and overwhelming especially with my family members nagging and their high ego that they know about everything and how it is supposed to be, and that I am jobless for more than 4 months. How does people can have experience if no company in this world believe in someone's capabilities!?! It's a really tough world.

- I am struggling with porn and masturbation habits. I damn hate this habit and wish that i have never knew these things in my whole life.

- On top of that, I am struggling with dealing with my parents towards each other.

I really want to have a positive impact in this world before I die. I want to do research and open my company in healthcare industry and use the power of technology to do that. How should I manage to do that if I am still struggling with small things in my life.?! These kind of problems should be taught in schools and universities with the possibilities of how to prevent them and treat them.

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anonymous Miscellaneous April 19, 2022 at 2:12 am 1 3